You're NOT special

Many emerging adults today seem to have the mind set that the world owes them.  Why do they think this?  Could it possibly be because of the parenting choices they were subjected to?  Do we as parents provide for their needs or fulfill our own need to keep up with the Jones' in order to feel accomplished with ourselves as their parents?  I believe a portion of why our young people feel so entitled is because we have overly catered to them and fed their egos.  Some of them feel entitled because their parents made them that way.

I am tired of the growing trends of overly pampered young adults who are so spoiled they are unable to function in the real world.  It amazes me to no end how very little children are taught to do for themselves these days.  Many children are growing up in home where they are not taught self responsibility by doing laundry, how to properly clean a house or balance a check book and save money.  Why?  Is it possible because their parents have sang their praises for accomplishments on the soccer field?  Heaven forbid you instead spend evenings at home developing their life skills. Now don't take me wrong, sports can be an optimal way of teaching children teamwork and discipline.  Soccer (insert any sport you like here or non-essential extra curricular activity) is great  but it seems that it and any number of other various activities are replacing quality time in the home.  An environment that was meant to cultivate healthy relationships within the family unit.

Parents are running themselves into the ground trying to give it all to everyone.  Paying bills and creating more bills because they want the latest and greatest and instead of saving up for them they charge it. Yet another poor example of good stewardship in front of our kids.  "Oh, you want that, well sure honey let's just put it on my credit card." Meanwhile, you have to work more hours to pay off that credit card.  More hours away from the little people that you wanted so bad to bring into this world and yet have no time left to give them because you spoil them.  So meanwhile your set yourself up to work more than one job to give your children materials that will fade and loose their shine.  Things that will be broken and tossed aside and then look, your precious child's hand turns palm side up and says, "where is my new.....?"  More and more parents are still raising and supporting their adult children and working well into retirement years to pay the bills their children are accumulating.  Enough of the special treatment already.

While I love my children and do my best to provide for their needs and sometimes treat them to something they want, my kids aren't special.  We are a team here at home we all have our own role to play.  My kids are going to have to learn how to work hard to get the things that they need.  Being able to afford what you want is a bonus not a necessity and they are learning that first hand here at home.  My parents thought I was special because I was their child but the world is not going to open it's doors to me jut because I am their child.  The world isn't going to open it's doors to my children because they are mine and I think they are special.  The world doesn't think your special, your just one of the masses so why build your child up to think that the world will cater to them.  It's building a fallacy in them that unfortunately make take them years to realize is false doctrine.

So......

Kudos to you parents out there getting it right.  Parenting is hard ass work!  So to those of you that understand your kids aren't special to the world and are preparing them to function well in society and always bring their A game to the table, I applaud you! To those of you who are raising self-centered egotistical, non-functioning emerging adults, I am sorry for you, your heart-ache has only just begun.

I sat under the stars tonight........

I sat under the stars tonight and smiled because of you,
I smile because I know your under those same stars too.

I fell in love with boy, blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile.

I sat under the stars tonight and felt my heart grow,
I know inside I loved you, how deep you will never know.

I fell in love with a boy, blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile.

I sat under the stars tonight and felt amazed,
I sighed with relief to know my love never strayed.

I fell in love with a boy, blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile.

I sat under the stars tonight and felt blessed,
I am thankful that we two even met.

I fell in love with a boy, blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile.

I sat under the stars tonight and even though we are apart,
I will always save for you a piece of my heart.

I fell in love with a boy, blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile.

So to that boy with blonde hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile,
If you sit under the stars tonight, think of me for awhile.

Catching this Fish

Wanting to be wanted is the most desperate feeling to me these days.  My friends all tell me I am a catch.  I am one picky fish that's for sure and you are going to have to bait the hook with something pretty fabulous to get me to take a real bite at it.

On paper I haven't been single all that long so I may be what someone would call high risk in the dating game.  No one who wants anything serious wants to be someone's rebound.

Here's the thing I really don't know how serious I can even be.  I have a really really really full life between working full time, college full time and three kids.  I don't know how emotionally invested I can afford to become with someone. So I can see where that makes me a risky investment.

Isn't any relationship a risky investment though?  Here we are two people hoping beyond hope that we can make a real connection with another person.  A lasting connection if you will.  It takes a daily commitment to wake up and stay invested in a relationship with someone.  In other words it takes an investment of your time.  Time is not something that I have a lot of left over.


So despite wanting to be wanted and wanting someone special, I understand that the thing that a relationship depends the most on is not something I have left over to give.  So while I may be a great catch, I don't think it's fair for me to ask someone to bait a hook and throw it in my pond, unless the fisherman can understand the value of my limited time, see the beauty of this fish and be willing to invest in us.

Wanting someone to look at me the way he looks at this fish :)

The Loud Voice

The loud voice.........

The loud voice says - come away with me, I will make you feel loved.

The little voice cries - stay with me, learn to love yourself.

The loud voice says - come away with me I will make you feel desired.

The little voice cries - stay with me, you are desired.

The loud voice says - come away with me, I will make you feel beautiful.

The little voice cries - stay with me, you are already beautiful.

The loud voice says - come away with me, I can give you better.

The little voice cries - stay with me, wait here for the best.

The loud voice says - come away with me, you can do it on your own.

The little voice cries - stay with me, you weren't meant to do it all alone.

I listened to the loud voice - I don't feel loved.

I listened to the loud voice - I don't feel desired.

I listened to the loud voice - I don't feel beautiful.

I listened to the loud voice - I don't feel at my best.

I listened to the loud voice and now I am forced to be alone.