LOCOmotive

This blog was started as a school assignment last semester.  I have guest blogged in the past and through that found that I really enjoy putting my words out there for others to enjoy, despise, live by or dismiss. I fully intend to pick up this blog torch and burn through it like overly price camp firewood! So on with the show............................

Listen friends, I will fail you and probably multiple times.  Not because I want or intend to but because...get this.....like you I am human.  I am flawed...like A LOT!  I have all these incredible qualities mixed in with some that are not so great.  I have been playing the super hero for far to long.  In reality I am just a Clark Kent (well a female version anyways).  A nerdy, book smart, intelligent mom (and some say a walking encyclopedia of fun but completely useless facts).

I can't fix your problems, I can't heal your pain.  I can be your friend and walk along side you and prop you up when you need me to but I can't fix you.  I can't even fix myself (although I really try to act like I can).  Right now parts of me are a hot mess and from the outside looking in I am sure I look like I have boarded the cray cray train and bought the ticket that lets you stay on board.......forever.  I assure you I will exit this LOCOmotive sooner than later :)

I've drawn a line in the sand with someone that I have built a life with for the past ?? years.  Anyone who has been here knows how extremely difficult this journey is......I am not here to sugar coated anything.....this crap sucks!!!  It's like this......You have peace and know what you are doing is the right thing, but everyone else treats you like your making the biggest mistake of your life!  I assure you, I have made bigger and I am sure there are more to be made.

Here I am stumbling through this incredibly intense life struggle where I feel like I am being water boarded every single day.  While I struggle between the few gasps of air I manage to get, I some how gain clarity in the moments in between.  Sounds sadistic I know, but through all of this I am actually learning to breath under water!

For those of you choosing to love me through all of this, THANK YOU!!! I know it's hard right now and I appreciate your patience with me.  Especially this one pal......who totally gets the full down load of my crazy thought process (like on a daily basis and sometimes more than once a day, LOL).  If it wasn't friends like you I'd totally be completely bona fide insane!!!

In the mean time dear ones, I am going to keep on trucking.  Life is short and my list is long!!!