Powerless to no one.

The power of the people in our lives comes from us.  It the amount of power we choose to give them.  Why do we allow people to have so much control over our lives?  Why do we feel compelled to give certain people more power in our lives than others?

We teach people how to treat us.  Most often we fail to establish boundaries early on with people.  Perhaps this comes from our inability to distinguish what healthy boundaries are in the first place.  So many people are looking for someone or something to fill the void they feel in their hearts. A void not meant to be filled by emotions.

People are fooled by emotions, they want to feel good about themselves and who they are with.  They let the strong feelings take over and they miss all the markers that they should step back and take a breath.  People inherently do not want to be alone, so they settle for less than they want or deserve just to fill the void.

We lie to ourselves, we make excuses for them and for our own behavior.  We think we are the exception and that somehow this person is going to be different with us then they were with those that came before us.  Why do we do this?  Because we have failed to establish boundaries with ourselves.

Boundaries with ourselves will carry over and allow us to establish them with the people in our lives.  Our self imposed boundaries will help us to keep an even keel of power between ourselves and others.  People will no longer be able to make you feel less than you are.  No one will be able to make you feel powerless to them.

I for one am learning how to establish boundaries with myself.  I am setting down and making myself a list of how I want to be treated and I will settle for nothing less.  I will love myself first so that I may love others wholly.  I will respect myself so that others will respect me.  If ever someone special comes into my life (in the future) they will know exactly where I stand.  I will lead them by example of how to treat me, because I will treat myself well first.  They will see how to love me, because I will love me first.  The will know how to respect me, because I will have self respect.  All of that said, they too will have to be able to set boundaries with me.  If they can't, then they are not the one  I will choose to be with.  Because I will be powerless to no one and no one will be powerless to me.